Throughout the last few weeks, I’ve entered the job market full force. I’m up to my armpits in résumés, cover letters, and reference lists, and there are a few things I have learned that I thought might be helpful to you the next time you find yourself looking down the unsettling end of a job board.
First of all, please know that the majority of job hunters – myself included – would rather cover themselves in honey and roll through a fire-ant bed than tweak their résumé… one… more… time. Ugh. (Thanks, so much, for this visual, Adam Karpiak!) The rule these days is that you need to reflect the job posting in your résumé, which requires much tireless work on each résumé submitted. The fire ants and honey sound like a spa day compared to all that tedious, virtually microscopic editing.
The second thing I’ve learned is only the tiniest bit less horrific: The other day, I went straight to the computer first thing in the morning. Without pause or dental hygiene, I set immediately to work on the online grind of job hunting. When I finally looked up, it was dusk, and I still hadn’t taken a shower. The world kept spinning, I noticed, and I began to wonder how many minutes of my life I could get back if I had only known this showering every other day practice was truly viable. On the bright side, it’s entirely true that such existential angst could never have happened without embarking on this personal discovery adventure. (Note: I promise. No stench was created in the research for this particular observation.)
Next, online job applications are of the Devil. Sheer evil, I tell you. At the same time, they somehow seem to also be the first phase of the interview process. Such requirements of filling out these sometimes cumbersome, often illogical, and War-and-Peace length forms is the first hurdle to getting any sort of recognition from someone with hiring power. It’s like hazing; it’s just what we endure to join the club of the gainfully employed.
Also, I have rekindled the relationships with all the representatives of those endless car warranty folks. I answer every call these days, so I get to visit with the car warranty reps a lot. At least their days are brighter.
Finally, I realized that digital was the way to go, so I began from scratch and built my own website. It’s an electronic résumé – an e-résumé – and I found it delightful to spend a few hours thinking only about myself. The result turned out, and I hope you’ll check it out and share it with every recruiter, HR exec, and hiring consultant you know.
Y’all stay safe out there…
“‘…Get behind me, Satan!’”
Matthew 16:23